At a Church Dance

"Dancing can be fun and can provide an opportunity to meet new people."

Dancing has been part of Mormon culture since the beginning. Early prophets encouraged dancing as an exercise and as a form of social engagement. Caution has always been taken to keep church dances in line with gospel principles, i.e. nothing suggestive of immoral acts or music that describes sinning.

And so the church puts on dances for its youth and singles. There used to be more family oriented dances, like the Gold and Green Ball, but the occurrence of those has dwindled, and dances are mainly put on for teenagers and unmarried adults.

My question is: Why?

When formal dancing was taught to children I can see where dancing might be a good social activity. I have watched and read enough Jane Austen to see the benefit of organized dancing in social situations. But today dancing is anything but social. Lights are dimmed, music is too loud, and you're so sweaty that you probably won't put up the best impression. As stated by Kat in "10 Things I Hate About You," Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual?

I have attended church sponsored dances since I turned the magical age of 14, the age the church has set for admittance into such social soirees. I attended the Rose Prom, the "coming out" event that I thought had been done away with, but doing a google search proved that at least one stake had a Rose Prom last year. My father presented me as a now eligible female teen to all the 14-18 year-olds of my stake. We stood under the lattice arch trimmed with twinkle lights as my name was read, waited for the other 14 year-old females to be presented, and then danced to "A Whole New World." It was the first time I ever saw my dad wear a suit, and I love him for that. I remember the people I danced with, all nice, but I had no idea how to dance, what music they were playing, or what to say to these awkward teenage boys who only knew how to do the "Deacon Shuffle."

Now into my early 30s, dances still remain a major component of singles' life in the church. Every single adult conference I attend includes a dance (don't try to hide it by calling it a mixer). And yet I see the same behavior, though now the guys are not doing the Deacon Shuffle, but are trying to impress us with Steve Urkel dance moves. It is also a social situation in the church that I find on the verge of worldliness. We are taught to avoid all appearance of evil, and yet here are Latter-day Saint singles trying to perform dance moves indicative of breaking the law of chastity. Guys dancing this way are not the kind I want to marry, nor do I want to waste my time at an event where this is what is going on.

For this reason, I have pretty much stopped going to church dances. In my late 20s I went because I felt I had to show Heavenly Father that I was putting forth an effort to meet guys for him to bring the right one into my life. But I just don't think I will find the right one in a dark room with thumping music and gyrating bodies.