Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Premise

A few months ago the bishopric of my singles ward (labeled young single adult, but there are many of us that are over 30) decided that it would be cute to have the visiting third Sunday high counsel speakers tell the stories of how they met their wives. There has been only one of these stories that I didn't want to run out of the chapel during (being the ward organist, it would be pretty obvious if I left from the stand). Most include the usual married before 25, meeting at BYU or some other Utah institution, with an occasional "I had to wait so long (24) to meet my wife."

Now, while these stories my seem cute and romantic, they are quite off putting for those of us for whom the miracle of marriage has not yet occurred. Consider the 35 year old sister in the congregation listening to the 28 year old brother who is married with 3 kids talk about how he had to wait until he was 24 to find his eternal companion. Wow! That's old!

From frustration I began to think of the story I would tell the next time I was asked to speak. "Brothers and sisters, the Bishopric has asked me to introduce myself by telling the story of how I didn't meet my husband." I would then go through all the typical ways young Mormon couples meet, court, and marry, most of which I have tried, but with the tragic ending of never getting married. I have spent countless commuter hours thinking of just the things I would say.

Then I realized that would be totally inappropriate for sacrament meeting. Retribution is not a Christ-like attitude, and the stories would probably hurt and confuse some in the congregation. But still, I wanted to get these stories out there, especially when the bishopric seems to think that we are doing nothing to gain exaltation by way of getting married. (There is a story I want to share about what one of them said to me in the temple, but I will save that for it's own post)

So therefore, I begin this log of the many ways I didn't meet my husband. Please don't think of it as bitter mid-single sister trying to get back at the throngs of mid-single brothers. My main purpose is to show that even when you're trying all avenues of socializing in the single LDS realm, you may still be single, and, get this, righteous! So enjoy the stories, comment, and let me know if you want to guest blog if you have a "How I Didn't Meet My Spouse" story of your own you would like to share.

10 comments:

  1. I am commenting because I want someone to comment!

    Just kidding. I do want to express the fact that I know the bishopric in my ward loves me and the other members of the ward and wants to help us reach our potential as children of God. I know they have no idea what it is like being an LDS Single woman, and are just trying to do their best.

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  2. One of my flute students remarked the other day that her mom got started late having kids. Turns out she was 24 when she had her first baby. I just nodded and smiled. Looking forward to reading some ''good'' bad dating stories!

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  3. Kate! You're the best and this is such a great idea!!! I can't wait to read more!

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  4. Great idea! I also had my share, surviving BYU and my 6 year Utah stay without finding my husband. In retrospect, we were both there, freshmen at BYU the same year, and probably met (who knows!), just not the right time.

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  5. Kate, have I told you lately how awesome you are? Because you are awesome! This is just more proof to those who aren't ardent believers in your awesomeness yet.

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  6. I think I love this. No, I do. And I will guest post anytime with funny/traumatic/awesome/ what the ? dating stories if you want. =) After 16 years of dating I should have a few. -Megan G.

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  7. Kate, it's so funny & timely that you posted this today. I was just thinking the last day or two that I wanted to start a very similar blog. However, unlike you, I am not a writer. I have many stories to share so I'd love to guest post on occasion! - Angelene

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  8. Even though I probably know many of the stories already, I'm excited to read them here!

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  9. Heard about this and excited for this blog's future.

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