"Well, as far as I'm concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by women."
--George Pappas, You've Got Mail
Just to remind you, this blog is not to say that any of these methods are no good for meeting your spouse. They are just the ways I have tried to meet someone and have been unsuccessful. This is especially applicable to today's content. I have so many friends who have met their husband or wife using an online dating site and are happily married. This just hasn't been my experience, as you will see by the sampling of experiences I am choosing to share here.
I should mention that I attended college when the internet was just becoming a thing. I had to install an ethernet card into my desktop computer in order to hook it up to the DSL outlet in my dorm room. My freshman roommate didn't even have a computer. During my junior year of college, the movie "You've Got Mail", a movie concerning people who met on the internet and finally meet in person at the end, was released. Online dating was somewhat taboo. People who met online felt some shame of admitting that that was how they met, and others were cynical of the types of people who would stoop so low as to try to find someone online. In college I did not join any online dating sites or really frequentl them in my online surfing as I was at a school where most of the students held similar beliefs to me, and there were plenty of guys to get to know.
After graduation and moving back to my home state, there was a lack of men in my geographical area who had similar beliefs and life goals to me, and so I casually began checking out the online dating scene, creating free profiles on several sites, but never paying for a full membership. As I continued to age without meeting someone, I decided to pay for a membership on a couple of sites in order to get more out of the service. To this day I still have free memberships on a few sites and one paid membership, just to keep options open.
I have, however, found that online dating is no less like dating in real person. Some guys are still creeps, some are nice, but not ready for commitment of any kind, and others still just do nothing. I have had a few significant experiences with online dating, some with good out come, some not so desirable. Let me share three of these experiences with you.
First there was Ned (names have been changed). Ned's online profile was quite intriguing. He had served a mission in Japan for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (members of the same church, always a plus). We had similar tastes in music. His dating profile pictures were fun and honest. We began by talking online, IM-ing after work. Then he asked for my phone number. We lived many states away and phone calls seemed to be the next step we could take, so I gave it to him. For weeks we would talk nightly, seeing how each others' days were, getting to know each other, supporting each other through hard times. Then all of a sudden, nothing. He stopped calling, with no explanation. I would call and leave a message. I still have no idea what happened to him. Maybe he died, maybe he was in an accident and lost his memory due to brain damage, maybe he was just inconsiderate and ignorant. I tried to make contact for a little bit after his calls stopped, but eventually gave up and moved on.
Next there was Ken (again, name changed). Again we started off messaging back and forth, learning more about each other, discovering our similar interests. After quite a while of messaging, we decided to meet up at a local renaissance fair. I had always wanted to go to one, and he had been going to them for quite a while, so it seemed like the perfect public place for our first meeting. While we both had a great time, it was clear that our relationship was not going to go far beyond friendship. But I still consider this online meeting the most successful one I have had.
Finally, there was a guy who seemed genuine in the beginning. We chatted online, had one phone call, but he kept telling me he could never love a woman who wouldn't wear make-up all the time. Gross. He told me my profile picture was cute, and he new the media image I was duplicating (WWII Rosie the Riveter), but that because it was a more masculine depiction of me, he wasn't sure I was feminine enough...could I take some pictures that were more feminine with make-up and in a dress? RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
I have often thought of ending my online dating memberships. These thoughts come mainly when I get a notification that I have had some new views to my profile and they are either from guys who haven't taken the time to upload a picture and fill out their profile (lazy much?) or from guys who have looked at my profile numerous times and yet not taken any action in communicating with me. Why don't I resign my memberships? Mainly because where I am right now, there are so few single men in my geographical area that I feel the only way to meet someone will be online. To those of you who have not tried online dating, just keep it it in perspective. It is not unlike dating in real life. If you aren't having success off line, online may not be much different.
I should mention that I attended college when the internet was just becoming a thing. I had to install an ethernet card into my desktop computer in order to hook it up to the DSL outlet in my dorm room. My freshman roommate didn't even have a computer. During my junior year of college, the movie "You've Got Mail", a movie concerning people who met on the internet and finally meet in person at the end, was released. Online dating was somewhat taboo. People who met online felt some shame of admitting that that was how they met, and others were cynical of the types of people who would stoop so low as to try to find someone online. In college I did not join any online dating sites or really frequentl them in my online surfing as I was at a school where most of the students held similar beliefs to me, and there were plenty of guys to get to know.
After graduation and moving back to my home state, there was a lack of men in my geographical area who had similar beliefs and life goals to me, and so I casually began checking out the online dating scene, creating free profiles on several sites, but never paying for a full membership. As I continued to age without meeting someone, I decided to pay for a membership on a couple of sites in order to get more out of the service. To this day I still have free memberships on a few sites and one paid membership, just to keep options open.
I have, however, found that online dating is no less like dating in real person. Some guys are still creeps, some are nice, but not ready for commitment of any kind, and others still just do nothing. I have had a few significant experiences with online dating, some with good out come, some not so desirable. Let me share three of these experiences with you.
First there was Ned (names have been changed). Ned's online profile was quite intriguing. He had served a mission in Japan for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (members of the same church, always a plus). We had similar tastes in music. His dating profile pictures were fun and honest. We began by talking online, IM-ing after work. Then he asked for my phone number. We lived many states away and phone calls seemed to be the next step we could take, so I gave it to him. For weeks we would talk nightly, seeing how each others' days were, getting to know each other, supporting each other through hard times. Then all of a sudden, nothing. He stopped calling, with no explanation. I would call and leave a message. I still have no idea what happened to him. Maybe he died, maybe he was in an accident and lost his memory due to brain damage, maybe he was just inconsiderate and ignorant. I tried to make contact for a little bit after his calls stopped, but eventually gave up and moved on.
Next there was Ken (again, name changed). Again we started off messaging back and forth, learning more about each other, discovering our similar interests. After quite a while of messaging, we decided to meet up at a local renaissance fair. I had always wanted to go to one, and he had been going to them for quite a while, so it seemed like the perfect public place for our first meeting. While we both had a great time, it was clear that our relationship was not going to go far beyond friendship. But I still consider this online meeting the most successful one I have had.
Finally, there was a guy who seemed genuine in the beginning. We chatted online, had one phone call, but he kept telling me he could never love a woman who wouldn't wear make-up all the time. Gross. He told me my profile picture was cute, and he new the media image I was duplicating (WWII Rosie the Riveter), but that because it was a more masculine depiction of me, he wasn't sure I was feminine enough...could I take some pictures that were more feminine with make-up and in a dress? RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
I have often thought of ending my online dating memberships. These thoughts come mainly when I get a notification that I have had some new views to my profile and they are either from guys who haven't taken the time to upload a picture and fill out their profile (lazy much?) or from guys who have looked at my profile numerous times and yet not taken any action in communicating with me. Why don't I resign my memberships? Mainly because where I am right now, there are so few single men in my geographical area that I feel the only way to meet someone will be online. To those of you who have not tried online dating, just keep it it in perspective. It is not unlike dating in real life. If you aren't having success off line, online may not be much different.
